New guide eases family pressures of working away

Working Away: A Survival Guide for Families, is a 32-page, A5 booklet featuring professional advice from a registered psychologist and offers practical tips for keeping relationships healthy and families happy.

The guide is an initiative of Mining Family Matters, Australia's first online community for families in mining and resources. Chapters include:

• What to expect in the first few months
• Helping kids to cope with fly-in, fly-out (FIFO) rosters
• Sharing time and avoiding conflict
• Are you making excuses about sex?
• Identifying stress and depression

The booklet is the second in a series of survival guides published by Mining Family Matters, with more than 24,000 copies of the initial Survival Guide for Mining Families sold since its launch in March.

TOP 10 TIPS FOR WORKING AWAY: A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR FAMILIES

1. “Don’t assume your life is tougher than the person who’s away/at home. It’s natural to feel this way … but getting into a competition about it all won’t help your relationship.”

2. “Show a little enthusiasm when you’re reunited. Yes, this takes an effort sometimes, especially when you’ve had a bad day or been flying for hours to get back home – but the rewards can be big.”
3. “To help your children cope, never talk about Mum/Dad ‘going away’ or ‘leaving’.  It should always be Mum/Dad is ‘going to work’. They’re just words, but children take things very literally.”

4. “When you are home with the kids, work together to make a special bracelet, card, book or other object to act as a reminder of your bond. Something pocket-sized is great because it can be carried around and treasured every day.”

5. “Start out with a team plan. What do want to achieve personally and professionally? If you’re part of a united team with very clear goals, this can be your focus when times get tough.”

6. “Agree on a realistic list of jobs that need doing around the house on the days you’re together – and then write them down. Cuts out the need for nagging and arguments about being nagged.”

7. “Don’t organise a massive amount of social activities for the time you’re together. Some couples have a rule of just one catch-up with friends or family over the break at home.”

8. “Talk about any problems that arise as a symptom of the lifestyle, rather than as a relationship problem. This will help you tackle issues together as a team, rather than thinking there is ‘something wrong’ with your relationship or either one of you.”

9. “Differing libidos challenge most long-term relationships. For couples who often live and work apart, there’s the added pressure of separation. It’s important to talk openly and honestly about your satisfaction with your sex life.”
10. “If phone contact isn’t possible, get clever about staying connected: hide little love notes in the suitcase/around the house; read the same book or watch the same DVD as your partner; write a special note to each other for every day you’re apart – to be opened at the same time each day.”